The "other side" of the white-haired woman

Chick Benetto: I saw her alive, right in front of my eyes.

Sometimes it only takes one day to fill up all the years you lost.


As part of the emotionally confused youth, I've always misunderstood my mother. At times I argue with her about the simplest things I suddenly realized were stupid enough. Ironically though I can never spit out the words she needs to hear from me, so she can tell her story and I can finally understand why she's like that.

"You can't be here."
"Why not?"
"Because you died."

True enough, nothing haunts like the things we don't say. Mitch Albom's For One More Day revolves around the ghost story of a mother and his son. Watching its adapted movie (produced by Oprah Winfrey), I once concluded it's a typical story of family love and the rest of its tragic conflicts. But taking it to the book, I realized it's how the story was told that made me want to love and understand my mother more.


Sharing the ghost story to his daughter, Charles "Chick" Benetto (Emmy Award-winning actor Michael Imperioli) recalled his tragic accident and attempt to commit suicide, and how he survived it with the help of his dead mother (Academy Award®-winning actress Ellen Burstyn) who appeared to him, in what most would say "inexplicable apparitions before death". For what appeared to be one ordinary day, Chick got to know his mother more and discovered a heartbreaking truth about the man he had loved more than his mom all through the years--his father and hero and baseball coach, having another family back then.

"Citizen of the World" Mitch Albom created a dramatic approach by letting Chick narrate his own story in the book; how he had struggled with the confusion of seeing his dead mother, and even inserted his mother's love notes to him during his first day in school and college. He had also recalled their rough relationship, divided in "Times My Mother Stood Up For Me" and "Times I Did Not Stand Up For My Mother".


The  story also observed how a child is culturally mislead when oriented with clashing principles, divorce,  family secrets and  big choices, thus making him carry the curse down to his own family and to himself. Chick had sought for his father's muted affection more, for his mother had given all her love too easily she didn't let him earn it. His father had also asked him he couldn't be both a mama's boy and a daddy's boy; he had to choose. 

Chick's ghost story portrayed the sad truth about today's parent-kid relationship as well. With social discrimation and entitlement disputes lurking in every corner of the world today, sons and daughters--as they grow up--are suddenly oriented with the culturally accepted norm of disregarding their time-worn parents. Less talk, less words, less calls, less visits.


It follows the worse truth that we youth make the least effort to understand our parents. Somehow it's very hard indeed, because the stained culture around us limit us to want to discover the "other side" of our parents. My mentor Ms. Josephine Bonsol has taught me to always try to understand my mom, because she may have frustrations when she was young that unconsciously made her pass it on to us.


In the end, what we kids don't realize and foresee are the days when we just want to hide under mom's dress and she's just not there. We don't foresee the days when we cannot taste their specialties anymore, when we can never use the word "mom" or "nanay" anymore.


What we don't clearly see, is the woman who's always going to save us at the end of the day.